It’s been a while readers, how are you? I’m good, thanks for asking.
Well now that the pleaseantries are over let me apologize, for all the wrong i’ve done you. I’ve ignored you repeatedly, and much more, I woulldn’t be surprised if (God forbid) you wanted to . . . take a break . . . but WAIT it’s not you it’s me.
You see, as soon as finals week hit me I was bogged down with work school and internship related, and I have forgotten my blog duties, if only temporarily. We can make this better readers, we can mend this relationship. ‘With what?’ you ask. WITH EXTRA BLOG POSTS, yaaaay.
Let’s begin with a little reintrocduction story. Maybe about how I came home, which was a 48 hour ordeal in itself. Heavens help anyone who had to go what I did.
Long ago in a Metropolis far away Ummmmmmm, In the dark of night No, wait. Once Upon A Modern Times, Freshman Ashley decided that the time had come *single gangster tear* to leave her very first dorm experience. Her first home away from home if you will. She helped her roomate move into her new apartment, She packed her own belongings in 9 lonely boxes which two cute british men came to pick up. She made a note to herself that next time she wouldnt pack all of her blankets before leaving (because sleeping on a stripped college mattress without any coverings is a stupid idea) and she fell asleep watching METALLICA: through the never, for tommorow she would leave Washington, DC for the summer and head home.
But this is where our story truly begins my friends.
Dissapointingly. NO. It wasn’t Prince Charming. But a drunk sorority chick (How original), but the kind and generous Ashley would hear her out “Is there something you need?” said Ashley.
*Drunken Slur* “Where’s CAROL. CAROL WHERE ARE YOU. JANICE SAID SHE WOULD BE HERE” said the blonde as she tripped on absolutley nothing. Ashley felt sorry for the girl and she said so as well “I’m sorry” said the lovely Ashley. “I’m afraid you have the wrong room, G’bye”
Ashley went back to bed, and slowly drifted back to *knock knock knock* back to sleep, because it was very late and *knock knock knock* she had to get up at 8 which meant *knock knock knock* she would only get about 5 hours of sleep *knock knock knock*. THATS ENOUGH. She got out of bed, and opened the door to see a good friend standing in the doorway “Hello” said Ashley.
“WHERES CAROL. CARROOOOOOOLLLLLLL.”
Ashley stared blankly at the girl and shut the door in her face, but as she turned away from the door she heard the knock again. No more sweet Princess Ashley
Ashley leaned in close, and taking inspiration from the movie Taken whispered quietly “It is four in the *explicit* morning, If you knock on my *explicit* door one more time I will *explicit* walk down to the mother *explicit* front desk and have them take you in. I dont give a rats *explicit* whoever the hell Janice is, and there is not a Carol on this whole floor. Touch my door again and I won’t be as nice as I am now.” *slowly closes door*
Ahhhh peace and quiet.
Two hours later, Ashley woke up to start her day of moving out. It went pretty well, I guess you could say. Someone stole her taxi, that’s ok she just went back to her room to call another one. She got kicked out of her room (because although she pays her college extrenuous amounts of money, she is not allowed to stay in her room past 12 on moving day) How wonderful. All is well, the taxi is here, and soon she would be home. As she carried her 60 pound overstuffed duffle bag to the taxi, she sighed in relief, its almost over.
And then it rained. “GAAAAAAHHHHHHH” Ashley threw her duffel bag into the taxi van, and went back for her carry on and 3 by 2 foot newspaper wrapped painting. In the rain. By now Ashley was sitting in the van staring out the window.
But FEAR NOT. Her fairy godfather Ray the cab driver would save her. As you can guess Ray the fairy godfather cheered her up and was the metaphorical helpful bartender to Ashley’s crappy day, by giving her a few life tips and a cough drop.
And all was well again.
Well children that’s a condensed story of what happened to Ashley. Thankfully she has made up for all the crazy coincidences with much chocolate and a Jane Austen immersion weekend, including lots of Pride and Prejudice and Austenland type movies.
I would like to thank the blog A**hole Disney for all of the hilarious Cinderella memes, which I used in tribute to the official announcement that Disney is making another live action Cinderella movie.
Until next time. This is Ashley Tejeda signing off.